A Rose Court Client Story – November 2015

My story began with me, being unable to function without alcohol. That Demon drink that a user thinks is the be all and end all. You feel you can’t function without enough drink in you to get you feeling better in yourself.

How wrong was I

The day I realised that alcohol was not the be all and end all was, in my eyes, 15+ years too late. In reality, I never in my life thought I would be able to say “that’s it I’m not drinking no more”, and actually do it! But I did and I surprised a lot of people. My Mum, Dad, Brothers, Sisters, boyfriend and a heck of a lot of friends who I thought had gave up trying to help me.

See, alcohol got a grip of me big time. It was breakfast, brunch, dinner tea and supper and everything else in between. I got myself into debt, suffered with anxiety, an abdominal bleed, liver damage, regular vomiting and I lost all self respect and the respect of others.

See, I was always an ignorant drinker. There was always a “NO”. NO I don’t have a drink problem. NO I don’t need help, but deep down I was crying out for help.

So one day, in early October 2015, I woke up feeling really positive and told myself “you don’t need beer to function”. As usual I had a fag and what would have normally been a 3litre bottle of cider, instead was a coffee. …… and strangely enough ……. I LIKED it.

I went about my daily chores, cleaning, washing and cooking though I made each one last longer, keeping my mind from thinking about having that drink.

First few days weren’t as hard as I had imagined, and as the days progressed, it got a lot easier.

Having the help I needed from Staff at Rose Court was a big help. If I ever felt I needed a bit of reassurance or guidance, they were happy to help me. Before I moved into Rose Court I was (as some would call me) a ticking time bomb, i.e. fighting, causing trouble, very abusive verbally to people. I thought I could fight the world!! (now I know I can’t live like that)

It has been 57 days now and not a drop of the demon beer has passed my lips. Some people say 57 days is nothing. After 15+ years of drinking every single day, I lost the respect of my 3 beautiful children which broke my heart. It broke my heart but also encouraged me to quit drinking and in my eyes, every day I have got through without a drink, is a step closer to being alcohol free forever.

I don’t want to be remembered as a (piss head) that lost everything because I chose beer.

I want to be remembered as THAT WOMAN THAT HAD THE COURAGE TO CHANGE HER LIFE FOR THE BETTER.

See, if you put your mind to it, anything is possible. You just have to BELIEVE in yourself and the only person you should do it for is YOURSELF, and nobody else.

I am a lot happier in myself now. I’m also gaining the respect back of family, friends and my children. It’s been difficult at times but onwards and upwards I say

“YOU CAN DO IT”

Leila Collins

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